Change is part of our lives, as Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher said more than 2000 years ago, “Change is the only constant”. Transitions, whether they are at work from one position to another or personal, they are part of our lives; the faster we accept and adapt to the changes the more fulfilled and happier we will be.
We need to acklowledgde that with each change that happens in our lives, no matter if we invited it or we had no control over it, there is an internal transision that we go through as human beings in order to adapt to the external change.
Important changes do not come easy as we humans have an innate resistance to change. Each transition involves letting go of a way of life that we knew and we were used to and that had its benefits. So, we need to learn to recognize and accept the sense of loss that comes with each passing. We need to let go of something so that we make space for new and exciting opportunities to come our way.
Acording to William Bridges, each time we adapt to a change is our life, internally we go through these three phases. Each phase has a different purpose, also we have different needs and we face different emotions:
Phase 1 – End, loss, “letting go”
- Emotions: fear, denial, anger, sadness, uncertainty, sense of loss
- Purpose: to leave behind the old status, the old identity, to accept the loss that comes with every change
- Support: we need to be treated and treat ourselves with compassion, we need to normalize the emotions we feel, and we need a lot of encouragement
Phase 2 – Neutral zone
- Emotions: uncertainty, frustration, anxiety, apathy, skepticism, lack of motivation
- Purpose: this is the core of the transition where most of the self-development and learning occur. We are planting seeds and we experience the “not yet” feeling.
- Support: we need to identify and acknowledge the progress. We also need validation. What is this period teaching you? How can you use it?
Phase 3 – A new begining
- Emotions: enthusiasm, energy, commitment
- Purpose: here a new inner re-identification occurs, a change in our values and reintegration of the new identity with the elements of the old one
- Support: we need to celebrate the new begining and identify the next steps
We grow and change as human beings so important transitions in our lives are both needed and beneficial for us. Most of the times, we are the ones who unconsciously invite them.
We all have the knowledge, power and resources we need to overcome every obstacle and transition in our lives. But we fall short of our own or other’s expectations sometimes and that’s ok, it’s part of being human. To overcome this and to discover the hidden hero inside each of us, we sometimes need a companion to mirror all that and to give us a hand so we can arrive where we want to be. An that is where the coach steps in to guide and support its client navigate through the intricate pathways that each change brings.